13 November 2020

It's not often that I get to come across an opportunity to be on a team of incredible women and also be part of promoting a book. Especially a book with a vision I'm intensely passionate about. I want this book to really succeed, and I need to tell you why. On a personal level first.

The first thing that reached out to me was the title. That alone pulled me out of a darkness I had been dwelling in, wondering how I could course correct my life so I could feel successful to pursue writing as my creative career, no longer miserable in Corporate America. Something about the way I was lately feeling, and something about their book title - it was interconnected, and it felt like I should pursue participation and support.

And then it hit me why the title meant something to me. For so many years I was defined by a breast cancer journey, a club I never wanted to be part of, and while that chapter is in my rear view mirror, I was done with it. So I abhorred hearing people describe me as a breast cancer warrior; I felt sensitively for those who were terminal and had passed on. Were they not a warrior, also? Did people think they gave up? That I was somehow stronger than them? No. To me, I was just lucky.

And there was this creeping reality sneaking up on me all the time that my life should never be defined by a part of my journey, or one chapter of my life. Yes, there are SO MANY puzzle pieces to me, even I can't figure them all out. So when people describe me as "a mom," "a wife," or "a breast cancer warrior," I feel the imposter syndrome hit me full force and I scream in my head, "BUT THAT'S NOT ME!" I'm so much more than that.

So, the book title is what first connected to me, and then meeting the co-authors who are incredible, smart, engaging, sensitive and aware and thoughtful. I wanted to help, in some small way, in any way that I could.

And while the vehicle to drive the subject of this book might be domestic abuse, with very raw and personal stories shared, analyzed and reviewed to discuss new language and words to describe abuse, the totality of the message is inclusive to all of us. "...but that's not me." is so much more than a book about domestic abuse. It is an important message and I believe will change lives. We have to get the publicity and the online chatter out there, to put it in the hands of people - everyone. We may not be in abusive situations, or maybe we are, but we don't think so. Or, we might know someone who is, but the behavior has become "normal" to us - "that's just the way he is to her." "That's just the way they are together." Is it okay?

And is domestic abuse solely regarding intimate relationships? No. It can be an abusive family situation, it can be an abusive sexual harassment case at work. It can be toxic friendships. Suffering, abuse, victim status don't always come to play and many don't identify with it because it doesn't fit with what we've been indoctrinated to believe is a pure example of abuse. TV and books in the past have painted this image of what it most likely looks like, so when the victim doesn't get a black eye, the words "...but that's not me." echo throughout their thoughts.

This book gives foundation, awareness, and LANGUAGE. That the intuition we might feel is real. Trust it. Go with it. Be aware. Help each other. Help yourself. This book will change lives. Please help us get it out there.

Disclosure: I am a part of the team with The CornHer Office and am supporting the co-authors to get the awareness out into the hands of everyone. I will fiercely do everything that I am capable of to make this successful.

What is available now?

  • The BOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and was just approved to be listed with the Library of Congress!
    • To be part of the first batch of 50 exclusive first edition copies that will be signed by the co-authors, along with more items available for you (including private Zoom sessions, etc.), head to the book website that will redirect you to the purchasing site
    • The site also includes merchandise (tote bags, caps, etc.) you can add to your order (I personally already purchased the vintage cap and the coffee mug today).

Upcoming events

  • November 15, 2020 - Book trailer casting call in Columbus, Ohio. Click here for all of the details; if you are local and have your story you would like to anonymously share.
  • December 4, 2020 - Book launch in Downtown Bryan, Texas at the Chocolate Gallery. 25 guests maximum attendance in-person, with a Q&A and book signing!

What other products are available?

  • Dr. C's Course: click here to see the most recent course launch about Leading through Crisis (what is the difference between crisis and uncertainty?); it is a three module course, includes lifetime access, and a workbook for $40.
  • Peaceful Holiday Planner: the 5th edition has been revised and is a 120-page downloadable product or $34.95. You can print it out in any size and on any paper you would like, and it is a collaboration between the incomparable Sophia Gaudi of Creative Soul Wild Heart and Erika at the BETTER over PERFECT community website specifically to keep your holidays filled with peace!
  • Peaceful Holiday Planner Decor Kit from Sophia Gaudi is absolutely amazing, and so worth $15!

About the authors

Erika Shalene Hull, founder of BETTER over Perfect Co., resides in Ohio with her husband and five active children. While caring for all the humans and managing her home is her current vocation, encouraging and uplifting others through the trials of life is her purpose and her passion. She strives to empower women every day to be the best version of themselves through her daily live videos, courses, writing, speaking and volunteer services. After spending 10 years, primarily as a Financial Development Director for a world-wide non-profit organization, Erika sought to lessen the gap between the challenges of working and motherhood, by leaving Corporate America and becoming a full-time entrepreneur. Having to overcome numerous traumas during this tine, including abuse, the suicide of her oldest child, and the day-to-day hardship of a crippling genetic disorder, she is courageously passionate about helping others rise above their own personal obstacles.

Visit Erika:

Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson, founder of The Psycho Mom, lives in Texas with her husband, two boys and as much family as one house can hold. After earning her Doctorate in Industrial-Organizational Psychology, she spent her career working with organizations and helping employees find fulfillment at work through clarity and engagement. In addition to running her own consulting business Cheryl serves as a lecturer at Texas A&M University, serves in her community, and volunteers at her church. In addition to ...but that's not me., she has published two books, Strong. Brave. Powerful., a novel bringing attention to the lasting impact of abuse and the journey toward recovery, and Family Business, making Fortune 500 business practices accessible to the small business owner. Cheryl is also a professional speaker and blogger, passionate about encouraging women to step into who they were made to be.

Visit Cheryl:

Together, Cheryl and Erika also founded The CornHer Office, a physical and virtual community with a mission of leveling the playing field for women in business. By changing the language, we are changing the conversation, which changes our reality. Learn more and join in this incredible movement of women helping women. We would also love to hear from you - share you stories of struggle and triumph at:
  • ...but that's not me. book website
  • ...but that's not me. Facebook page
  • And always - use the hashtag #ButThatsNotMeBook and #womenhelpingwomen on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook
Thank you!

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